


a mess

by wellexcuuuuuseme



Category: The Odd Couple (1968), The Odd Couple (TV 1970), The Odd Couple (TV 2015)
Genre: Demisexuality, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 10:25:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3688716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wellexcuuuuuseme/pseuds/wellexcuuuuuseme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm a mess and I needed to have some sort of thing to establish my hcs for the functionality if these fucks' relationship. It will be quite awkward.</p><p>Takes place just hours after 'You're a Romantic Piece of Shit'</p>
            </blockquote>





	a mess

"Never cook breakfast again." Felix stamped. "Never. Again. What do you think I'm here for?'"

"It's my day off. I figured I'd try since you were so fragile last night."

"You burned oatmeal, Oscar. If you want to do something nice for me, never attempt warm cereal again. Do you know how hard it is to wash these pots?" 

Oscar tried to sneak up on Felix, but there was no reaction. He put his arms around Felix, but he was still washing that oatmeal pot. He kissed Felix's ear. Still nothing, except a deadpan turnaround. "Fine." 

"Fine?" Oscar toed back in surprise. 

"Yeah. Fine. I'll have sex with you." 

"Whoa, don't make it sound like that..."

Felix sighed and turned back to washing dishes. "Do you want me to be more enthusiastic? Your friendship means a lot to me, and I don't really want to ruin it because you're— because we're horny and hormonal from you coddling me and—"

"No, Felix, I'm in love with you."

Felix blushed intensely and went into rapid-fire deflecting "Can you be, really? Because, I mean, we've been friends for years and this is coming up suddenly and maybe you're just— and can you really know if you're in love? How can you tell? And you must have thought you were in love with your ex-wife but that obviously didn't work out—"

"Felix. Can I please kiss you?" It was, technically, a question but he said it less like a question and more like a tired request. 

Felix sighed and said "Yes, please, but don't think we're done talking yet." 

Oscar leant forward, gently holding up Felix's chin like he sees in sappy movies, and kissed him. They were still in front of the sink, so Felix was pressed against the counter, slipping slightly at the lack of balance. They both smiled into each other's faces while Oscar moved his hands to hold the other up a bit better. He still ended up slipping and knocking his head loudly on the way down, landing on his ass at Oscar's feet. Not half a moment passed before Oscar dropped to his knees at Felix's side in concern. Felix laughed, a little out of breath, and they both laughed and it was nice. It was an isolated moment of joy in what had been a rough week for all parties involved. 

Oscar set his head on Felix's chest. He felt breathing settle and calm, and he stayed there. 

"Do you really think you might love me?" 

He sighed in response, and then breathed "yes." much softer than his usual tone. Felix wished he spoke that gently all the time. 

"You should know that I've, well, I've never been attracted to anyone but my ex-wife." he spat the thought out because he wasn't sure if it was something to be embarrassed about. 

Oscar still deciphered the mumbling, and lifted his head up off Felix's chest. "What?"

"Yeah." Felix said, staring at some object on the opposing wall. 

"What?" he repeated.

"You know that… that feeling? in your gut kind of, that you get when you look at someone and it's like a 'I would like to make love to you' sorta thing?"

"Uh, yes."

"It's just her. Our romance started long before I ever felt it, but once I did I was sure she was the one. Like I was made for her. That's why the divorce ruined me as much as it did. Because I ignored every problem we had as a couple, because I thought we were soulmates, and I thought that meant we were meant to be." Felix had started tearing up by the third sentence, they were wetting his jawline by the end of it. 

"Wh– why are you telling me this?"

"So you'll know what it means when I say I think I'm attracted to you."

Oscar didn't know how to respond, so he just sat and stared, wide-eyed. 

Felix started to speak quickly because he was embarrassed and not sure how Oscar was taking this. "That was what I wanted to talk to you about before you asked to kiss me. I don't really know when it started or if it will continue but last night definitely helped. I mean, I read that sleeping near someone causes a shift hormonally to be more trusting of the other person. So maybe I forced myself to fall in love with you. Maybe it was a ruse."

"Felix." Oscar gathered his thoughts and stopped the flow of words from Hurricane Felix. 

"I don't know if this is going to change by tomorrow or the next day, but today I'd like to spend inordinate amounts of time with you. So let's see if we can find a bad movie to watch on the couch, alright?" 

They kissed again briefly. 

"Alright."

**Author's Note:**

> fun fact: i put this in the hemingway app and it said it was grade 4 reading level.


End file.
